Davidisms

So...If you are reading this, you probably know David. You've probably met him and spent time with him. Of course, it is possible that you don't, so here ya go. David has Aspergers syndrome. It sounds like a donkey's cheeseburger, but there ya have it. It is a form of high functioning autism, been around awhile but not been 'commonly' diagnosed until recently. He's a crack-up. He's also a pain in the pa-toot. He was officially diagnosed with it as a second grader, up until then we just thought he was immature for his age, and not just a few very helpful people suggested it was a parenting problem. In a lot of ways it was good to finally know what was going on, but there is always the grief that comes with the diagnosis.
Along with his AS comes some fun behaviors and co-morbidity issues (meaning he has other issues besides autism) He eats his shirts. Not kidding, he can trash a shirt in mere minutes. Also has some bathroom issues (see previous posts for that joy) Part of the fun is some sort of hypoglycemic tendency. Now, we're really unclear on whether his blood sugar has dropped or he's just so hungry he's overwhelmed with the sensory implications.Honestly either way we just have to get food in the kid. So this morning he was 'low' (for lack of a better term) and he tells me he wants toad-in-a-hole or ramen. I have 1 piece of bread left, and it's the heel which he normally won't eat. So guess what- I make him ramen. (ick)
I call him down to eat, "Why can't you just leave me alone? I'm not hungry!!!" Doorbell rings, it's hubby's friend asking if I can watch his two little ones for a few minutes while he runs a quick errand-I being completely unable to say no to anyone -say sure... David is still screaming from upstairs, " I can't deal with this, why are there babies here?!?" WHY CAN'T ANYONE LEAVE ME ALONE? I HATE BABIES!" I settle the little ones with the trains and head up the stairs to manhandle David downstairs. I park him on the chair and he, not using an inside voice, "Why did you make me this garbage? This is filth! I'm not hungry!" The little girl, is getting a bit worried, and I told her he's just having a rough morning and don't worry. "I am NOT having a rough morning! Why can't you leave me alone? I'm not hungry!" She goes back to playing and is giggling..."STOP laughing at me!!!" This goes on in circles for about 10 minutes, when I finally reason with him to eat a toad-in-a-hole (made with the heel) After getting food in him, he sits down and plays nicely with the little girl until her dad came back.
Ah, I can't believe I'm going to home-school this child. What was I thinking!?!

" I don't want to see the llamas, I don't like llamas, they spit on everything."--David