Final

Well, after all the drama, lawyers and money the divorce is final as of December 6th. No, I'm not dating, nor do I have any inclination to do so. The kids and I are living in Payson.Blair has the house in Spanish Fork. Blair and I have joint custody right now. I'm still at Maceys, and my goal for the new year is to enroll in school. The kids are doing surprisingly well. We all have our days, but overall we are all doing well. Thanks you to all of you who have given your love and support during this challenging time for our family.

THE Article

So here is the article I mentioned in my last post.

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700147203/Blending-motherhood-and-working-Moms-work-by-choice-2-and-also-out-of-necessity.html

Divorce proceedings are creeping along and consuming all of my time, energy, and money. The kids are doing ok.

I've got a cute little place in Payson for the kids & myself. Unfortunately, no internet there yet, so I'm not keeping in very good touch with anyone.  


Thanks to all of you for your love, prayers and support.

So it's been forever.....

So much has happened since my last post. I guess the biggest news is I'm getting divorced. Blair & I just can't have a healthy relationship and counseling has done no good. So that's the biggie. There are a lot of reasons for the divorce, but it's not appropriate to air all the gory details, so that will have to suffice for now. The children and I are living with my parents for the moment. I have filed, and am waiting for Blair to file his response. The children are handling it pretty well considering.
So less distressing news :
The Deseret News is doing an article on working moms. Guess who my boss at Maceys thinks is interesting? Me. Go figure. So this cute little reporter came and interviewed me at work. A few days later they sent a photographer. That was awkward......Today she came to the house with a photographer and took pictures and observed my morning routine. SO not interesting....They'll be coming back after school to follow me around some more. The article should be out in a Sunday edition in June sometime. There are loads of other working moms they are interviewing too, including another cashier at Maceys. So hopefully there will be more them and less me.
Had David's IEP meeting this morning, I am so freaked about him being in junior high.....he'll still be in a self contained unit similar to the one he's in now. BUT....change is hard....you know? He had a great time with the photographer this morning. The guy was so sweet, showing him his camera and explaining it to him. The other kids weren't too excited about the whole thing.

Today's Davidism: After showing him a photo of a friends new baby horse...." Mom, thanks for showing me that image. It boosts my morale."

Today's Davidism

"Mom, you make friends faster than a hippopotamus poops!"


Feeling less angry already. Off to have a fun girls day out. :)

Anger

I am so full of anger lately. For lots of reasons.
 Today I took David to McDonalds. He wanted to  play on the playplace.  He was playing so nicely with the other kids, he was taking turns, helping the smaller kids. Which, by the way, is a HUGE thing!I heard a couple of the moms making snarky comments about the height limit and "looking" at me. Yes, he is over 4 feet tall. Oh no. Call the playground police. I opted to not say anything, but seriously I wanted to go over and make a huge scene. I really wish they'd had to guts to actually say something to me. If he LOOKED like he had a disability (such as Down Syndrome) would they even think twice about it? Maybe they would. I am just so tired of explaining. He has autism. He functions socially at a kindergarten level. He likes hanging out and doing stuff with kids that are about 5.
He was having fun. We left before I punched someone. Luckily it was a chilly, but sunny day and we went to North Park to play for awhile longer.

I watched this episode of "Parenthood" (WARNING: Swearing--watch minutes 3:12-5:05 & 23:46-25:00)-and could totally relate to the dad. It's where I am right now.
 I am so angry and I don't know what to do about it. I can't go around punching people in supermarkets or McDonalds. :)
On a less angry note, Blair got a job! He started Monday. So things are looking up. Now, just to get the mortgage company to cooperate.
Ok, I'm off and I'm going to try to not be so angry.

Home for Sale

Blair couldn't work at Walmart, he was in a bunch of pain and was living on pain pills, he had to quit.

Our house now has a for sale sign in front of it. I'm sticking to my guns, since the answer to my prayer about being home with my kids was so strong. I'm struggling with it a bit....Ok, let's be honest,I'm struggling with it a lot.I've put so much of my heart into fixing it up and it's our first house. I'll miss my back yard especially. We have some time, at least a few months-so perhaps there is still hope Blair can find a new job before there is no turning back.
 Homeschool has been a challenge with two unemployed grown men hanging around the house. David is so easily distracted (and so am I) that we are falling behind on his work. Next week we really have to buckle down and get caught up. His emotions are all over the place and I've officially decided that I really, really, really don't like puberty, especially in an autistic child.
Broden has straight A's and was recently awarded his Star scouting rank. He's a Life rank away from Eagle scout land.  He's not loving Junior High, but who does? He's doing very well considering it's 8th grade.
Morgan, yet again, has too much on her plate. FFA, NHS, school play, early morning seminary, and a variety of school clubs she joined. But her grades are good, even if she is a bit grumpy.

The truck has been out of commission for 3 weeks. Yes, THREE WEEKS. Blair had to replace the clutch. and the flywheel. and the master cylinder. and the slave cylinder. Oh, and did you know that the '92 Dodge Dakota has a self bleeding system? Guess what that means. Royal Pain in the Bum to get the air out of the line. Three men out in my driveway tonight still trying to bleed the line.Three weeks, I'm not even kidding. Transportation has been a challenge. Luckily, Blair has his motorcycle. Unluckily, once of the buddy pegs (where my right foot should rest) has broken off. So visualize......Not-so-skinny, 30 something female,on the back of a motorcycle which is being driven by a not-so-skinny 30 something male, with the females right leg sticking straight out to the side wearing a bright red helmet and a backpack full of groceries. It's a lovely picture. It will probably show up on "people of walmart" soon. I'll share if I see it.

I'm still working at Maceys, but only as a sub. It's nice not being there all the time. I've been making decent sales with my Mary Kay, but I could do better if I was more proactive.
So that's whats been going on for the last month in a nutshell--or the nut house. :)
Keep Smilin' that's what I'm doing!

Homeschooling update

So far I'm liking the K12 program. It's nice to have it planned out for me, I am a little overwhelmed but we'll hit our groove. There is a lot of work, and he's expected to have online sessions with his teachers each week. Because of his IEP, it's going to be nearly every day. He is receiving psychological services each week as well. We could opt for a web cam meeting, but for now we are driving to Salt Lake every week.
 Today we went to see the moving Vietnam Memorial Wall at the Spanish Fork Cemetery for our history lesson. I wrote a little social story so David would understand what it was about about and how to behave appropriately. It was a short visit, but it seemed to have an impact on him. We checked out a DK book about the Vietnam War from the library and he enjoyed reading through that. Tomorrow we are going to start talking about the Topaz Internment Camp. I checked a book from the library ( love the library!) called Journey to Topaz. We'll let you know how we like it. The Springville art museum has an exhibit of art by some of the prisoners from Topaz until Oct. 15th, so we'll be going to see that after we finish the book.
Morgan has loaded herself up as usual. She's in the chorus for the HS production of Phantom of the Opera, so there's a load of work there. She's in FFA again, as well as in her Young Womens class presidency (church). She's taking early morning seminary again this year-the crazy girl- and has a full course load of classes.
Broden is doing well, pulling all A's so far this term, he's got mixed feelings about school. He really hates the homework, but enjoys learning new things and being with his friends.
Blair is hanging in there at Walmart, not his fave thing, but we're all grateful he's got a job.
Blair's best friend Dave (the one we named our David after) is here staying with us for  a bit. He's a blast. My boys pester the poor guy to death and have a bad case of hero worship. He's been great with them, and we enjoy having his cheerful spirit in our home.
I know I keep saying this, but I will try to blog more often. And I really need to post some pictures. :)